Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast
This is the official podcast of the Bulletproof For BJJ movement. Hosted by JT & Joey. Each episode the founders break down problems that Jiu-jitsu people experience, giving guidance and tips to improve your training for BJJ. With the goal of helping every body on the Brazilian jiu-jitsu path reduce their chance of injury, improve their strength and mobility to become more resilient.
Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast
3 Tips To Build BJJ Confidence
Do you struggle with confidence in your BJJ? Train really hard but still feel like you suck at Jiu-Jitsu? If you are not confident in your BJJ abilities you are not alone. But it is often when you feel like you are failing the most that you are actually growing and developing the most. But if you quit at this time then you never truly realize your potential. JT & Joey unpack the difference between confidence and Arrogance and why it's important for you to celebrate the small wins on the mat. The discussion gets deep as they talk, faith, spirituality overcoming personal crisis. They also go deeper on how feeling challenged or overwhelmed is an essential part of the Jiu-Jitsu process. Then the conversation takes a strange but different turn for the better. These 3 Tips will surprise you but definitely help steer you toward being more confident to your BJJ journey that you will get there... wherever there is.
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A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Essentially, at this point, the fight is over, so you pretty much flow with the goal. Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? I'm ready. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another Bulletproof for BJJ podcast. The three surprising facts that will help you build your BJJ confidence. These are the things that you probably weren't expecting that can really help you build your BJJ confidence. These are the things that you probably weren't expecting that can really help you unlock better jujitsu through you feeling more confident in your game. Now, this is the thing, joe. Recently I've been having conversations with some people in jujitsu who I think are very good. I think they're very good, but they're still not confident. It's crazy to me that they don't back themselves and they constantly feel like they're very good but they're still not confident. It's crazy to me that they don't back themselves and they constantly feel like they're not good enough in jiu-jitsu, and I don't know if you've been talking to anyone recently. You've come across this kind of a thing.
Speaker 2:Give me your not confident.
Speaker 1:how Well for example, they recently won a tournament, but then they're like, oh yeah, but in my gym I still lose. I'm like I'm not good enough. They feel like they don't hold up their rank, you know, even though they just smashed everyone in the competition, Right, and you're like, surely there's reasons for you to feel like, yeah, you've got some command of your game and you're good. You're good, but constantly I see this person like it's a couple of people actually, kind of either reaching out to me for reassurance, you know, and I'm no one, but they know me and so they're asking me. And then I'm like you're good man, you got this. And it's weird that I feel like they are asking me to give them help them with their confidence, and they're probably already better than me at jujitsu. You know what I mean. You probably would have seen this in the gym at least, where somebody is quite capable, but maybe doesn't. They don't back themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, for sure, some people have a bit of that. I mean, we all have it to an extent, don't? We? Like a bit of a self-limiting kind of mindset around things, potentially, yeah, which I mean we're not saying on the whole it's a bad thing, right, because I'm guessing for some people right it, it's what pushes them to do, to do more. It keeps them. It keeps them hungry. So I'm not good enough. I gotta fucking I some people you feel a bit of that, yeah, like a chip on the shoulder, prove something to the world, kind of vibe.
Speaker 1:Look, I went to the chiropractor. It's bad news. This chip on my shoulder is permanent. Look, I'm telling you. Look, it's different for everybody, but in this situation I'm talking about these people I feel they're probably getting held back Right, it's a negative experience.
Speaker 2:Self-limiting beliefs are stopping them from reaching their potential.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I want to go into probably the. I think the other thing is they're quite humble people, an impediment I do not suffer, but here's the thing In that way, the difference between confidence and arrogance. I think people are afraid to come off as arrogant, Like in Australian society. You know we have this tall poppy syndrome. You don't want to be too good, because if you come off like really cocky or too good you're going to get chopped down. You also don't want to be too dumb, because then people are going to make fun of you for being an idiot.
Speaker 1:Don't be a fucking idiot, fucking dickhead. So you know, we're all about that, that middle ground, which is which is a strange thing as an australian culture, but interestingly enough, the difference, or the way it was explained to me the difference between arrogance and confidence is your ability to back it up. You know it's, you say you can do something and you then demonstrate it. So therefore, you should be confident and yeah, that's all pretty well and good, but because there's such a stigma around having ego or being overconfident, people shy away from it because they don't want to be that guy. I don't want people to think poorly of me or anything like that.
Speaker 2:I don't want people to think I'm a wanker?
Speaker 1:No, I'm a fucking wanker. But here's the thing. This is something. I can't remember where I got this, but it's really helped me. And this is the kind of this is the first surprising fact that I feel you can use to help improve your confidence in jujitsu, in your jujitsu.
Speaker 1:Confidence is based in evidence. Look for evidence for you to be confident. Now just put the emotions aside, put the imposter syndrome aside. Put the emotions aside and go. What do I do? Well, oh, I'm really good with sweeps. Or I'm really good Once I get the back. I usually finish. From there I've got a great guillotine, and so you can start to build the argument that you are good at jujitsu.
Speaker 1:From looking for the evidence, these little facts, I work really hard. I don't seem to have had the success I want, but I work hard. You should draw confidence from your work ethic. This is a good thing. Or someone might be exceptionally fit and so they tire their training partners out, but maybe they're not that technical. Well, if you've got that fitness base, you know where you need to work. Your fitness is good. Let's work a bit more on the technical aspects of your game. So what is great when you don't feel confident? Look at what you do and look for three points of like, three facts, three aspects of your game that you can draw confidence from so with, uh, say your, your compadre there in in question?
Speaker 2:um, the recent win of competition might be one of those things. Well, fuck, I won that competition. Yeah, submitted, submitted everyone, okay, well, that's, that's a tick. That's one thing. Yeah, what's another? Yeah, right, and, and I think another thing is you can look at, because we have a bias there, don't we? We always have a bias of, like, well, yeah, I did that, but that guy at training always fucks me up or I keep making that same mistake, and you're like whoa, whoa, that's it. We're talking two different things. Yeah, like you won a competition, you submitted everyone, yeah, you, you, you got outperformed in training, but they're not, they're not like, both of those do not equal you yeah, that's right, it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not who you are as a person, but another thing might be. For example, you're in training and you don't get submitted, often like people might pass guard, they might get your back or whatever the deal. You get taken down but you're very hard to submit. This is actually a really good quality, whereas some people would just go, oh, I just get bashed, I'm just they're all over me and I didn't get anywhere, I didn't submit anyone. But you go, oh, but did you get submitted? No, well, defensively, you're really good there.
Speaker 1:That's very positive, because there are some people out there who only do well when they're winning. I don't know, you might know a person like this whereas once they kind of get ahead, they steamroll and they win, but if they get behind they get a bad position. They kind of give up the ghost because they're not winning, right, yeah. So I think there is a lot of value in the character trait of like not giving up and being kind of tough and and always fighting, like fighting out of submissions and like really working hard even if you're not winning.
Speaker 2:I think there's this huge value in that too yeah and it probably speaks more to character more than specific jiu-jitsu skills yeah, and I'm thinking like with that example of the person who's like, oh, I just got bashed. It's kind of like a you haven't actually looked at the intricacies of what's going on. You've just been like, oh, they're all over me and I'm shit Versus, like, well, no, actually you did these handful of things really well. There's a couple of things you didn't do, great you know, but you're neglecting to realize that there was a lot of good things you did, because you would have got bashed way worse if you didn't do those things. That's right, you know. Like maybe they wouldn't have just been all over you, they would have tapped you multiple times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. And within that, within being, you need to be able to celebrate yourself like small wins. Like, oh, I actually swept that guy tonight, or I swept that girl tonight. I never get any wins on them. Instead of remembering that they did tap you multiple times, you have to be able to take those little wins Like you have to be able to fortify yourself mentally so you don't get beat down by sucking a lot Because so much of jujitsu is you not doing well, you have to be able to celebrate the small wins.
Speaker 1:Now, I'm actually pretty bad at that in life. I was talking to my sister about this. It's just like for me, I I tend to only want to celebrate if it's like, oh, we got a million downloads, or oh, we got the fucking gold medal, or whatever it is like, whereas you know, really all the big wins are just a combination of small wins anyway. Yeah, so if you're not in the habit of celebrating the small wins, then you're going to miss the evidence, which is why you should be confident well, this is where something like the mono journal comes into play, isn't it?
Speaker 2:that's true to have like a journaling process that actually asks you like, what are you excited about, what are you grateful for? Because I'm the same as you, I don't celebrate wins and I'm only interested in, like, getting to the next thing Substantial, yeah. But then when you get there, the goalposts just shift again.
Speaker 2:And you're like well, you know it's good, but you know it needs to be better, yeah. And you're like well, you know it's good, but you know it needs to be better, yeah. And so when you have something like that, that's like forcing you like no motherfucker, like Reflect. Yeah, like reflect on something that's good and you're like God. Okay, I fucking passed JT's guard yesterday. It was a fucking good day.
Speaker 1:Glorious yeah, Speaking of God 0.2. No, it's real. This is real. Deal with me people.
Speaker 2:I've had that situation a couple of times recently where I've come to training with some water but I haven't had any electrolytes, and I've finished training and I've had to go to a convenience shop and buy myself some kind of sports drink, usually a Gatorade. It cost me like seven bucks, it's small and it really doesn't contain that much of the good stuff that I'm looking for, which are the electrolytes. Sodi, on the other hand, is my partner when it comes to hydration and I'd simply just run out of it and it sucks because I got to go buy expensive stuff that doesn't do anywhere near as good a job. I'm super stoked that we've been restocked with the Sodi and now I can be properly hydrated when I train jujitsu. This has always been an underexplored aspect of my training and I'm so stoked that we now have these guys in place to support us and also the listeners of the show. So if you want to be hydrated on the mats so that you can perform at your best and have the best mental clarity while training, get yourself some Sodi.
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Speaker 1:Faith. Now here's the thing I am not a religious person. I'm not. I don't believe in predestiny, none of that.
Speaker 2:But he does believe in deus because that's part of the jiu-jitsu culture. Obrigado, deus, deus e fiel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but no, no, no, honestly, like it was interesting because I saw a post from a friend of mine talking about God and faith in God. And it was interesting because, whatever your background, religious belief whatever if you have a belief system and it works for you, that's good. Yeah, religious belief whatever, if you have a belief system and it works for you, that's good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's actually been proven to keep you alive longer. Why? Because you believe that there's a structure, there's a rule and there's God's plan, right, like there's a purpose. And I think if you don't, I mean obviously all praise be to Helio. No, like if you don't have a jujitsu god to pray to, you know, I mean, you can always pray to us whatever you like. It's one of those things that it's difficult to keep the faith when you're struggling. Here's the thing about confidence when you have momentum, very easy, but you cop an injury, you cop a really bad loss.
Speaker 2:Why are you fucking pointing at me when you said the injury point? My hands are in the air. This fucking guy Sometimes I'm doing, look, say you've got an.
Speaker 1:ACL reconstruction. Say you want to whinge about it, I don't know Good luck to you, but maybe you need to be more mindful.
Speaker 1:Joe, pray up, stay. Prayed up, my friends. No, I'm serious Faith. Why prayed up, my friends? No, I'm serious faith. Why? Because faith demands you believe in something you can't see or you can't feel. It demands that you trust in something kind of greater than yourself. Right, and I'm not saying, oh, there's a greater purpose. I'm not, I'm not going to the afterlife here, people, but what I'm saying is when you are struggling in jujitsu that is often when you're getting better, like when your muscles are sore from a workout. That is when you are struggling in jujitsu. That is often when you're getting better, like when your muscles are sore from a workout. That is when you are growing. Yeah, you know what I mean. You're not growing when you're banging and clanging the weights.
Speaker 1:And this was actually explained to me by Peter DeBean very early in my jujitsu journey, because I actually did a bunch of winning early, like white belt, blue belt. I was winning a lot and I took a pretty bad loss, pretty bad loss against a guy I'd beaten before and he what's a bad loss? Look like oh, I got injured. I didn't tap, I was in triangle. I got like camorra popped my rotator cuff, got armbar, popped ligament in my elbow, ended up tapping to the triangle he got me. I can go okay, fuck.
Speaker 1:Now I'm fucked up. I should have tapped in the first place. And he said nah, chief winning's overrated. You don't learn anything when you win, you only learn when you lose. You're going to learn a lot from this. I was like, all right, well, my fucking arm's fucked and my shoulder's fucked, but fine. And at the time I was kind of depressed because I couldn't do jujitsu and I was taking really bad loss and all these factors. But I did learn about rehab from the injury and all this stuff and obviously it didn't make me quit because I'm a very stubborn person. Other people out there might be less stubborn because they're less confident, whatever, so something like that might throw them off the path.
Speaker 2:Or, yeah, maybe not for a lack of confidence, maybe they just make better decisions.
Speaker 1:Please go on, they might make better decisions, but I'm saying that honestly. In those moments you need faith in the fact that you are going to get better at jiu-jitsu.
Speaker 2:Like this is part of a process, like I don't really like the saying yeah, trust the process no, but I, I, yeah, when you, when you're saying that it's a good, it's a fair point, the faith thing I'm I'm also an atheist, but I think, yeah, like there is a faith, like I have an inherent faith in the process, which, yeah, I mean trust.
Speaker 2:The process gets said all the time, but, you know, for good reason, right, it's like know that this is part of it and that you are improving. Yeah, you know, I think it's. I also think there's an element of faith in, like your work ethic. And I think about, say, for a lot of what I do, like with our work and with training and stuff, where I'm like I have faith in my ability to continue working and I believe that that's going to produce a good outcome, yeah, and so I guess, in believing that that's going to happen, there's some kind of faithful aspect to that, right, yeah, but I guess it because it definitely may not produce a good outcome. And then you're like fuck, I tricked myself. I thought god was a real thing and he wasn't. And fucking, here I am 10 years.
Speaker 1:10 years god should never go to confession. The priest knows all my secrets. No, I mean it's. It's one of those things that we all need something to hang on to right, and for many people, they put faith in their coach or they put faith in an idol Gordon, ryan, craig Jones, whoever it might be. It might be a false idol, whatever it might be, if it keeps you going, that's valuable.
Speaker 1:I will always ask somebody oh, you know, are you religious and what's your faith and how does that work for you? You know, because I have oftentimes in the past been throwing myself a pity party and you know my best friend he's one of my best friends, I should say oldest friend he will say, yeah, how's that working for you? Like feeling good about yourself, like how's feeling sorry for yourself going to fix anything? You know what I mean. And, in truth, when you are struggling and there's no obvious end in sight, if you can go, no, I will keep the faith in jujitsu, in myself, in whatever it might be, you will get there. You know, we all know it's going to take us 10 to 15 years to get to black belt, yet we have this short-term thinking like, yeah, I got to win the next tournament, and the next, and the next, and the next. Really, the loss and the lack of success is what will drive you to be successful If you always win. If you're born in a Ferrari, there's no need for you to want to push forward, and so I think having this idea of talent or being gifted that doesn't necessarily mean that you will end up being great at a thing, so being challenged is actually a blessing.
Speaker 2:A necessary input for to the success the stimulus Number three.
Speaker 1:Number three I'm going to talk about a new concept, a different concept that you may have not heard of. I heard it. I was like, oh, do I like this? I think I do like this.
Speaker 1:Pro noia, not paranoia, not the fear that everyone is out to get you. Pro noia is the belief that it is acting in your favor. The universe is there to help you. That might sound a little bit touchy-feely and some of my weed heads out there are like no man, everyone's out to get you. Look into it. But this is coming more from the perspective that if you believe something happens for you, as opposed to you, this can really change the way you experience it. You're like, no, this enabled me to go to the next thing and that gym didn't work out. But that meant I went to this gym and I made a new set of friends, and there's always a way for you to find a benefit, if you can frame it in that way.
Speaker 1:You're paranoid. You're thinking, huh, that worked out. Oh, you know like it is surprising how we default to the negative. We just do that. It's just a human thing, because we don't want to be let down and we don't want to be disappointed. So we're like nah, better to just be like nah, it's not going to work. Better be slightly negative than disappointed. We fear disappointment and surprise. The reason why I say this is trusting in the universe and I don't say this because I'm into, like woo-woo, energy healing. Trusting that things are working for you is also trusting in yourself, and this is the basis for confidence, the confidence that, no matter what happens, you got this, you will be okay, even if they completely fucking reco your leg. You're going to get the surgery, you're going to rehab your knee and you're going to get on with your life. You're not dead, you're not done. And if you can think about it, that there will be a benefit, there will be a golden pot at the end of the rainbow, there will be something in the future that can help you endure the worst shit in your life. And that probably goes back to the faith thing, but it's more that there's so many little things that contribute to your success in life.
Speaker 1:Or you know, however you want to look at it, that it's really hard to rule out the element of luck, the chance that there's some other guy that's kind of looks a little bit like me, maybe a similar height to me, same belt as me. Australian guy personal trainer kettlebells. Australian guy personal trainer kettlebells. Good times guy. Likes to talk. Some shit happens. To end up we are friends, not mortal enemies.
Speaker 1:Allegedly is pure fucking luck, my friends, pure luck. You couldn't have planned it. We are too fucking similar. It's fucking crazy. Now, like I said, I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in anything in that. Now, like I said, I don't believe in fate, I don't believe in anything in that. But I saw this guy and I was like we're doing the same thing. Technically we could be competition, but that doesn't make sense. We could be the greatest middle-class white boy rap group ever. That's what I thought to myself. We need to do a collaboration album. We could be the Beastie Boys of Australia, and then it was pure fucking luck. And if you look at your life, there's so many things which was just by chance. Now some people will say that was god's plan or that was this, and people attribute it to many things, and people often attribute things to bad luck. But if you can frame the way the world works as it's acting for you, life is a much easier journey. That's all I'll say with this. How?
Speaker 1:do you think about this. The skeptic in you is not hearing this no, I'm hearing you.
Speaker 2:I uh look, I yeah, I like it. I think, um, for, for myself, I I acknowledge, like, with a discussion like this, right, I acknowledge that it's probably bullshit. Right, like it's probably bullshit. And you know why I don't want to get morbid. Right, it's cool, it's cool. But, like you know, does the kid in Gaza who just lost their parents, do they also think that the universe is acting on their behalf? Right, sure, and so I can't help but go to that when I but but that said, right, that said I still and you said it before with an earlier point that even if you believe or not, faith will.
Speaker 1:Faith will serve you, right, and it's, it's been shown that, like having belief in something like right and so so we knew that on the flip side of that coin, wouldn't that then make us lucky to be born australians and born right here right now? Yeah, lucky, right. Yeah, like it's that's just luck. Well, that's just luck, but that's but. What I'm saying is like, if you, if you, can believe in luck, then you can also believe that things can work out for you too.
Speaker 2:As much as there's tragedy and, yeah, I mean terrible things things always can work out, or things can always not work out for you too, as much as there's tragedy and terrible things in the world. Of course things always can work out, or things can always not work out, right, sure, I could have good luck, I could have terrible luck or anything in between, but how you perceive it will, really reflect on how you experience it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think that's the thing is like being able to view things with the most amount of utility and like positive utility that you can. So like, yeah, that fucked up thing happened to me. Okay, fuck, what did that? What strength did that give me? What positive did I get from that? You know and I say that as someone, yeah, like middle class white boy never had any great tragedies in my life. I'm you know, I'm sure there's people that are just like it is not possible for me to reflect on that and talk about the fucking good thing that came from it, but I do think for most of us it's like, yeah, the shit that we hold on to is like being bad or whatever. In our training, in our day-to-day life, it's like, well, okay, is it really that bad? What good can you take from it? So, even though I look at it kind of cynically, I do think there's a power to, to utilize, to using it.
Speaker 1:Well, look, if you train, jujitsu and you're listening to this podcast. You're fucking lucky you I don't care what you say like if you have the ability to access technology that allows you to listen to a fucking podcast. You got the time, energy and chill to do that.
Speaker 1:You're you're blessed up right, yeah yeah, yeah, and in that way there is unspeakable tragedy in the world. I can't account for that, but what I'm trying to say here is, if you're somebody who thinks you're down on your luck, or you think you're someone who, oh, I have no reason to be confident, I don't back myself. You are as fortunate or as well positioned as any person in the world if you can hear this right now. So, in that way, trust in yourself and trust that the universe is acting in your favor and this can steer you to feeling more positive about your game, which can have a positive upward spiral. This isn't the fucking secret. This isn't like manifest Plenty of motherfuckers out there talking manifest.
Speaker 1:It's just a little bit of secret it fucking isn't Joe, it's a little bit.
Speaker 1:It fucking isn't. Hear me, people, I am saying for example, you get cut off in traffic and you're like, yeah, fuck that guy, but maybe that person saves you from an accident. You know what I mean. You don't know the near misses in your life, you can't perceive it. But if you can just take the perspective that that served you, then you're less likely to be fucking angry and feel me like you're fucking. You know, like you. Just you know what I mean. Like yeah, yeah, there's ways that you can save yourself stress if you can approach it that way absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I do. I. I think that, like, in practical terms, you like your lot is kind of what it is right, and so then all you really have control of is how you respond to the things. Yes, in your life and of course you have control over other parts of the things yes, in your life, and of course you have control over other parts of the direction of your life. But so if you can come at things with optimism and with like, okay, well, how can I like what's the benefit of that make?
Speaker 2:the most of this yeah, then, then that is like, that is a huge fucking uptick on. Like whatever, whatever it is, you want good outcomes, yeah right. Versus like oh, that was fucked. Yeah, I got cut off.
Speaker 1:That guy's a cunt it's just me trying to beat joey to the podcast in traffic.
Speaker 2:It's like who's that guy in?
Speaker 1:the fucking jt in the holding prick, beat me again. Look, here's the thing, folks. There is many things in society that will rob you of your sense of agency. There's many things that will make you feel fucking powerless, whether it's a presidential election or a war, or a divorce or whatever the fuck it is. That won't help you, it won't help your jujitsu and it won't help you as an individual.
Speaker 1:You have to fight so hard to maintain your mental and philosophical strength that you will get there. You will be successful. It doesn't mean you will, but you increase your chances by being resilient and being solid in the belief. I can do this. And the more you are able to search for the evidence, the more you're able to keep the faith and the more you're able to believe that it's possible. It is more possible Because as soon as you believe it's not, it's definitely fucking not. So that's why I'm making this argument for you to find that confidence, get that evidence, making this argument for you to find that confidence, get that evidence, get that faith, get that belief and then trust yourself to do it, because you're going to do this and you got this.
Speaker 2:Boom, shout out Anthony Robbins. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm.
