Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast
Discussions on improving your BJJ, navigating mat-politics and all aspects of the jiu jitsu lifestyle. Multiple weekly episodes for grapplers of any level. Hosted by JT and Joey - Australian jiu jitsu black belts, strength coaches, and creators of Bulletproof For BJJ App. Based out of Sydney, Australia
Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast
Why Grittiness In BJJ Is Essential
Are you gritty, or are you... quitty? Mental toughness separates those who excel in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu from those who simply participate. It often manifests in unexpected individuals– the quiet accountant, the elderly gentleman, the smaller woman – who demonstrate extraordinary mental fortitude despite lacking physical advantages. These individuals prove that psychological resilience can outshine any other advantages.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another Bulletproof for BJJ podcast Grit how it is the secret advantage for all BJJ practitioners. Now, there's plenty of us out there. We think we're tough because we do BJJ, but what is the toughness inside you? Now? Some of you may think you are not tough, but BJJ has an amazing quality in improving this and we unpack exactly why. Also, what is the link to mental and physical trauma and how does that help you in terms of dealing with what you're going to get on the mat? Last but not least, how can you build grit and resilience and how can this help your BJJ? Both Joey and I talk about our own experiences how this has informed our jiu-jitsu and how we have used it to help us move forward and get better. Let's get into the episode now. Also, whether you're pretty or you're gritty, what we would appreciate is that you give us a like, a follow and a subscribe and, if you're listening to this on an audio platform, give us a five-star rating. It goes a long way to helping us share good info like this with more good people like yourself. Better listen very carefully.
Speaker 1:A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Essentially, at this point, the fight is over. So you pretty much flow with the goal. Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? I'm ready BJJ. There are gritty folks coming to jujitsu and it's one of those things. Oftentimes we think we're tough because we do jujitsu, but the people who are really running ahead of us, it's not about any physical talent, it's none of this, it's not athleticism. They are tough mothers. And I wanted to unpack this a little bit because I think that there's many folks out there who are like I do BJJ, I'm tough, I have mental toughness, and I believe that this is not necessarily the case, even though you can build it. I'm not saying it's innate, but there's some folks out there, they've been through some stuff and they are the ones who are really progressing. So I wanted us to ask that question Are you gritty or are you a little bit quitty? Are you going to give up? Because I know some folks who are like that. They get a tough round and they sit off. And this isn't about rest rounds, it's not like a fitness thing, it's just like, oh, I just took a beating.
Speaker 1:No, and you get those people who you submit them and they go. You see them light up, oh yeah, and it's just do it again. Go on. You know they. They really, please, man, I can't keep beating you up like this. I feel bad. They will themselves into that fire.
Speaker 1:You know you, you see these folks, and they're not always. They're not always young athletic dudes. Sometimes it's an older person, male or female. Sometimes it's an older person, male or female. Sometimes it's a real quiet, nerdy person. You're like, oh, what's going on there? This person's so tough.
Speaker 1:Have you encountered people like this? Joe, yeah, dog, is it a couple of them? Yeah, I'm thinking about a bunch of people as we, as we go through it. You know, I think, um, you see it in certain individuals, right, and um, I think you see it the most in the smaller individuals and you see it in certain individuals, right, and I think you see it the most in the smaller individuals and you see it the most in women, yeah, because they're not gifted with the size or the strength of the bigger people in the class usually, yeah, and so it's like, in this physical game, you're probably going to take more than your fair share of beatings. Yeah, you know, beatings as in like getting roughed up by someone that's bigger and stronger, just dominate it. Yeah, like not winning rounds, like you don't get the dopamine hit of feeling success.
Speaker 1:You know it's always a, I think, of Ari Tabak. Oh yeah, shout out to our boy. Yeah, you know, I trained with him, I think, when he was like a kid, yeah, and I think I've told this before like, and then there was just all of a sudden, you know, he was like a kid, like small and not particularly strong, and so you could just sort of overpower. And then there was a point where he just you couldn't do it anymore and it was like but this went on for months. You sort of convinced yourself, oh nah, yeah, I still got it over. And then you check in with him and you're like, nah, actually I can't do shit to him. And then the strength starts to catch up and then Ari starts all I see is a fucking animal. And you're like man, he passed my guard and submitted me multiple times. You're like I actually don't know how to stop this kid. And you're like, wait, he's not a kid anymore, but it's almost.
Speaker 1:And it's like you see that person go through that rite of passage of taking beatings. Right, because if you are like a kid stepping into an adult's class. You go through that and if they stick it out, those individuals often end up becoming the biggest motherfuckers of all. Because, like they've, if they stick it out, those individuals often end up becoming the biggest motherfuckers of all. Yeah, because, like, they've been tested in a way that most others have not experienced. Yeah, and I feel that people who've they say it's a really good test for entrepreneurs. Right, and a lot of high level companies look for young people who've had traumatic experiences in their life and overcome those. They do Like. They often ask them like what is the biggest challenge you've had to overcome? Oh, yeah, like my whole family had to get in a boat and the boat sank and I actually lost my dad and we had to swim to shore and I was in a prison camp. And you're like, and now I intern at Google. You're like, oh right, that's a tough bar.
Speaker 1:Remember that story that Charles Sonnen told of his upbringing, where he was like brutal man, where he was like my neighbors were twins and for their birthday, their dad bought them a Mercedes, but he only bought them one Mercedes and he's like imagine that like twins. You know, he's like some fucked up times, that kind of shit. Yeah, yeah, he talks about his upbringing. It's quite funny. And I'm not saying that someone can't be gritty if they're from a wealthy background, right. Not at all, like our boy Fabinho. Right, he's from a wealthy family. He's one of the toughest motherfuckers going around. Like, maybe he's just a mean motherfucker I don't know where it comes from, because he's lovely to talk to, but to roll, he's a brutal menace. He wants to put pain on you.
Speaker 1:I think Kenny Florian said something similar. Like I think maybe I can't remember which fighter was calling Kenny Florian out as many years ago he said you're the son of a doctor, you're a rich boy, you're this. And he's like yeah, you know what profession I chose Hurting people. I could have done anything. You know what I love to do? I get paid to fuck you up and I love that. That's mad. It's like that's even more Twisted. Yeah, that's even more fucked up. This guy had options and he chose MMA brutal.
Speaker 1:So the grittiness. I mean I was a bullied kid and I took beatings, I was stomped and what I did learn about myself, also being a clumsy kid? I fell down a lot, hit my head a lot. The head trauma might have something to do with it. I have very good pain tolerance. I can take a beating. I can literally get pushed off a wall and have the shit kicked out of me by five people and I can kind of dust myself off and still function. I have very good pain tolerance and that's got nothing to do with exercise. That's literally like if you hurt me I can still get on with it and I'm not saying that's, that's not. That's not actually a good quality to have. It's like a fighter who has a really good chin. You shouldn't have it in your strategy. He just loves eating shots, Just getting punched because there's a point at which that tops out. But it's a handy thing to have. For jujitsu it was really good. For taekwondo it was great.
Speaker 1:I literally used to get the shit kicked out of me. I one time got kicked so hard in the kidney that I actually had like a small renal artery collapse and I pissed blood. It was brutal. It was like some of the most pain I've experienced. Wow, very luckily my kidney didn't die and like it was nothing like that. But yeah, you, I have had times where I've been in pain. I'm like no, it's okay. And then you know, piss blood and the brain's like that's really bad man, it's dick cancer, you've got to go to the hospital. Yeah, we need our dick, come on man, and so, but I don't know if it's disassociation or whatever. I'm like, no, I can get through this, and for different reasons, you know, like you might have had it where you rolled someone really hard and they just didn't. You armbarred them, you fucking knee-rolled them. You're just basically treating them like a punching bag and they just shrug it off. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, they're scary, that's frightening, right, because they just don't, they're not emotionally affected by it and they just continue.
Speaker 1:We had a guy I used to train with back in the day, a Korean dude, mun Su oh, who was just a fucking warrior. I was like, I've always thought about him. I'm like that cunt came from a lineage of, like samurai, for sure, some, or whatever the korean, they fought the samurai. Yeah, I'm just like, like you would like, he was a judo black belt and we were blue belts together. I think, um, and he, just he. He would give you a like, a like a soft smile when you'd see him and then you, when you would roll. There'd just be no expression and you'd just be putting everything into it, trying to, and he just you know, you, he wasn't like you'd never dominated him. You might, you might have edged him out, but you never saw an expression and you're like fuck, is this even hard for you, man? Like I'm trying to unbar this shit or and just like like nothing, you know it's intimidating. And then and then, and that like that's that mind game where you then like you've put everything into, say, a submission attempt and fails, and they've given you no indication that it was even a light threat to them, and so then you're disheartened and deflated and then they just step back in and start putting it on you, and that's a real interesting switch in the paradigm.
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Speaker 1:Well, look, I actually learned that from my Korean master in Taekwondo today. Well, look, I actually learned that from my Korean master in Taekwondo. Master Jong, kim Jong it's a bit generic, isn't it? It's every Korean name ever. But he, you know, he was the first ever federated heavyweight champion and he won with a broken arm, which is pretty mad back in 1972, I believe. And he set up the first big school in Australia and whatever's the master of that, and my instructor was under him.
Speaker 1:He gave no emotions ever. He'd grade us and then he'd just whisper to my coach and then tap the pen, you get off, you get on, you do something. You just even you were looking for even disapproval and you didn't get that Right, some form of acknowledgement, and he's just emotionless. And that is kind of frightening, like you're, like surely there should be an emotional. It's a human thing to respond emotionally. But you know, that guy was in the military, he'd been through a lot of stuff and he's just like, ah, fucking, stupid white kids jumping around, fuck, you know, I don't know what he thought. I never understood what he thought, even when we went to dinners with him and stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think when you encounter someone who's been through something really like life-threatening or serious, when you know, when people are just experiencing a bit of simulated fighting, it's like man, what's this, you know, experiencing a bit of simulated fighting? It's like man, what's this? You know, like someone who's come from a war zone or someone who's who's witnessed great horror, what's jujitsu in the face of that? Yeah, and, and look, I don't think you have to be from a war torn zone. Like you know, someone could just come in and, through their upbringing whether they were raised on a farm or their parents were particularly tough on them, or whatever they are unfazed by the challenges jujitsu presents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think we can go the other way, where you meet somebody who the littlest thing happens and they're like oh, oh, oh, and they just, you know, and they, they come to training but they're always a fucking sook. Like they, you're like, dude, like this is, this is jujitsu. Like you're going to get kneed in the face, so you're going to get your finger twisted Like, have you, have you also experienced the opposite of that, joe, where somebody who maybe they're technically, they're okay, but they're just not tough at all. You know, I've not experienced a lot of it. You probably would have seen it here and there, though. Yeah, I remember in a white belt comp I tapped a guy with knee ride and I never saw him in another comp again. He probably wasn't quite cut out for it. Wrong sport for this guy, but no, like, I've not encountered a lot of that in training.
Speaker 1:Sport for this guy, but no, I've not encountered a lot of that in training, though it does make me think of individuals who you know are tough right, like, say, on the competition circuit, but who play up that gamesmanship. Guys like Herbert Santos, like, oh, you hit me, ref the whole. Like football players, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. And sometimes that extends to training.
Speaker 1:I did roll with a guy once, a Brazilian dude, who like, had some really over the top reaction to like my knee tapping him on the head or something. Yeah, you know, and I'm like bro, like come on, what are you doing, you know, and he was a high belt, so I was like oh fuck, I'm really sorry. You know. He was like oh, and then like okay, we can roll again, and I'm like what's that I get? That's just, that's because you know someone like an Urbis Santos. I'm sure he's a tough cunt. I'm sure he'd have to be. Well, he's a mean guy. He's a mean guy. He's now in jail.
Speaker 1:I believe that's right for being a fucking dirtbag, a terrible human, but, but you know what I mean, so but so maybe that sits a bit separate, where it's like you can still be a tough cunt but also be like take a dive, you know, or just be a sook at times. I think this is where we can. Okay, let's talk about like, what is grit? Right? It's your ability to endure something which is not just physically uncomfortable but like very stressful, and still find a way to continue. It doesn't mean you're having a great time, you just, however you do it, stay in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you hang in and yeah, there's a lot to be said for like quiet, grittiness, not somebody who's like I've got tattoos and I've got scars and like, for sure they just I mean, I think that is they just bear it, and I think that is bear it. I think, and I think that as a quality is exemplified by most grapplers you meet sure they're not, you know, they don't look any particular way. No, some accountant, you know, rolls in and then they're just fucking a hard cunt, you know, and you're like whoa shit. But go on. Oh, no, no, because I was going to say that, the positive thing that I want to say I the reason why I am such a, since I've read grit, uh, the book by Angela Duckworth, and there's another book, uh, by another female psychologist I uh I apologize, it's pretty, pretty famous which is just about a similar thing.
Speaker 1:What is it that makes somebody, um, gritty and stick to it, and can it be cultivated? And yes, it's not a talent per se. It is something that you learn over time, that you overcome challenges and you keep going and you learn. Oh, hey, I can deal with some shit. Jiu-jitsu is a great tool for building grit, but if somebody comes to the game with grit, they're ahead. Yeah, that's a great gift to have. Yeah, definitely. Hey, it's super common these days that you want to do some jiu-jitsu learning outside of your time in the academy, and it makes a lot of sense because you only have certain times you can get to the academy, but you might have idle time at a computer or on your phone during the day when you could put 20, 15, 20 minutes into studying some jiu-jitsu.
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Speaker 1:We had an older gentleman Pete, I think I've talked about him before who we think was a spy. He had this epic scar from here all the way down to here. I think he might have had some illegal weaponry in his house. Fuck yeah, he had special visas that no one could understand. He would always get pulled in the offices. Why do you have this kind of like level visa clearance? He's like, oh, like no, no, no, he's like I was not. I was an architect. He's like, no, I just I designed the buildings for this military complex.
Speaker 1:I don't know, you know, but he was so tough the guy could ski. This is why we thought he was a spy. He could ski like he was a champion skier. He was a crack shot. Like what? What person needs to know how to like, yeah, ski really well, lower their heart rate and then shoot someone? Like that's, that's some spy shit. Yeah, also, he was so tough, bro, he would guillotine.
Speaker 1:So here's the example I saw pete. This is one of my first days I ever met Pete. He put this kind of wannabe tough guy unconscious with a guillotine. It was amazing. This guy had longer hair, not Pete. This guy has a blue belt. I didn't see him much. He didn't stick around.
Speaker 1:This is when Absolute MMA was at South Yarra, when it was a small gym before it moved to St Kilda. The gym had been taken over by Lachlan Giles, used to belong to kind of kid Dale. It was an infinity gym got converted and it was just a room full of fucking savages. I don't know who this guy was, but this was like a fairly good looking guy uh, longer hair, it looked very like blonde tips. Like looked like he probably went to the salon a little bit. Fuck yeah, um had good mani mani pedi. Like it's not often. It's not often that you find a man in a gym like this who's well kept. Yeah, everyone else is just grisly gross humans going hard for jiu-jitsu. But he was pretty good uh, but he would wear ear guards and he would grind the fuck out of you. But if his ear guards went off he'd'd be like, oh stop, I don't want to get cauliflower ears. Like got to protect the asset. And shit, pete, who just didn't give like wild man, you know he's 72, 75, just tough, strong. Like let's just bang.
Speaker 1:And this guy was not having the success against Pete. He wanted Right and I think he just because they're both blue belts he expected he was just going to fuck Pete up. Pete's an old gentleman, pete's an old man. But Pete was in there amongst the competitors doing his thing. You've got to give it to him for just fucking the balls on him and just wanting the hurt, wanting the work. And this guy just got shitty with Pete and he just came in for like a blast double and Pete just went, rupp, guillotine, pull the clothes guard and just cranked it on and and then, and then he said you should tap, you should tap. And this guy, pete, just held it and then the guy just went limp and Pete went.
Speaker 1:We got a sleeper. Everyone come over, put the guy's legs up. The guy's like no, what happened? You know, he's like bro, you just got put out by a fucking pensioner dude, like you don't know who you're fucking with here. That guy is tough. You are not. Your ear guards cannot make you tough, like you know. Like you're kidding yourself in thinking that. But you think he wasn't gritty because he got slept. Not because he got slept, it's because he didn't come back. Ah right, pete kept coming back.
Speaker 1:I think Pete's a brown belt now, like that guy's. Pete's a fucking king. He slept. Old mate, bro he is. Last week he is Been elevated to God status.
Speaker 1:But the thing is that I knew that guy was not tough because as soon as I put pressure on him he would kind of like give up. There was give up, there was no quit in that person. There was a lot of quit in this guy. He got his ear guards the wrong way. No, you're going to hurt my ears. I can't allow this. Like, oh man, this is grappling right, don't you want to look like us? Well, no, I think he definitely did not, and that's okay.
Speaker 1:Look, I've spoken to people who are really high-level, really tough kickboxers. They can't handle the fucking chin-in-your-eye-socket grindingness of jiu-jitsu. And it's not that they're not tough, but jiu-jitsu, I feel, requires a degree of grittiness which is it's very unflashy, it's not something sexy. No, you know there's. I mean, I would just say to that specific example of you know, striking versus that, it's just a different expression of grittiness. Oh, yeah, because I think about getting in there and sparring with someone and copping shins, oh, the headaches, and I'm just like I don't want that. Yeah, it's different, it's just a different form. And it's not to say that striking isn't gritty, I'm just saying that, like I have seen very high-level kickboxers come to jujitsu and just detest the level of I want your fucking sweat in my mouth. Yeah, it's just really.
Speaker 1:It's overwhelming how uncomfortable that situation can be on so many levels and that if we want to get good at jujitsu, we have to. Just your gross tolerance increases a lot. This always brings me back to a friend of ours, dan sester yeah, who you know was a kung fu guy and was always like, bro, you're never gonna get me doing that shit. He said I don't want your fucking balls in my face. He's a blue belt now. He loves balls in the face, he loves it, he loves sharing that with other people, just like, oh fuck, I love jujitsu. How good is it? You change, bro. Yeah, it gets you. It gets you.
Speaker 1:And I think the amazing thing is this is why I believe jujitsu does for the most part is such a community in just respecting another person. If someone says, oh, I've trained for 10 years, you're like, oh, the belt level almost doesn't matter. I mean, if they're a white belt for 10 tennis, you're like, oh, why that? Because you expect people to have a certain level of progression. But to stick at something so uncomfortable and so fucked and not sexy, you're like you're a tough cunt, you are.
Speaker 1:And I think this is the thing that's really underestimated. There's plenty of people out there going, oh, I do, or I do, I do this recreationally, they do it once a week and they count that as part of their identity. Where there is jiu-jitsu, folks who are absolutely eating shit three to five times a week for years still not necessarily being esteemed as being great, but they just they love that, they and I. I think that that that sense of toughness you can get from it, like your personal, your own sense of self and self-esteem that is built through enduring this tough shit it is, is possibly one of the biggest rewards out of jujitsu. Yeah, I would absolutely agree. Yeah, but um, there it is folks.
Speaker 1:It is one of those things that if you don't have it or you question whether or not you're a gritty person, jujitsu can definitely get you there. But if you hear this and you're a gritty person and you're like, oh, jujitsu, yeah, I could do this, I think it is absolutely the biggest advantage you can have and is absolutely going to mean you're going to do so well at jujitsu. Above any other trait you could have is the grittiness Folks. Thanks for sticking around. We appreciate it. You made it this far in the conversation and if you did, we give you a high five. We salute you and we would like you to return the favor by liking, subscribing. We appreciate it. It means a lot you.
