10 Harsh Truths I Wish I knew When I Started BJJ

Have you been doing jiu jitsu for what feels like a while? Are you having to learn things the hard way? Well, we have just given you the outline of the devastating truths of BJJ, and how you can navigate these things. We hope you continue to excel on your grappling journey and are glad you're here taking our advice. Please feel free to drop a like, subscribe and a comment if you like the video.
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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Harsh BJJ Truths
• 1:00 Why Most People Quit BJJ
• 3:30 Training Volume and Growth Myths
• 9:00 Gym Culture and Finding Connections
• 13:00 The Infinite Journey in Jiu-Jitsu
• 17:10 Beyond the Black Belt

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Essentially, at this point, the fight is over, so you pretty much flow with the goal who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? I'm ready. The 10 harsh truths I wish I knew about BJJ when I started. It's only now that I know these things. And if you've just begun, this is going to help you, so we're going to go through them. And if you don't know this about juj, to help you, so we're going to go through them. And if you don't know this about jujitsu, it might be a bit of a wake up call. It might hurt a little bit. It might that we did say harsh, it is harsh and jujitsu is harsh. So let's start at the top, which is it's painful, but it's real.

Speaker 1: 1:01

Most people you meet in jujitsu quit eventually. It could be you, especially if you don't dig into these other things. So it's so tough. You meet people when you start the journey and you're like, oh, we're besties, we're friends, this is great. And then you're like a year or two passes and you're like, fuck, I'm the only one standing, like there's just all new people. Now you feel like, even though you might still be a white belt, you feel like an og because your cohort has petered out. Yeah, I find it very rare that people you start with stick yeah. Yeah, it's definitely a war of attrition in that sense. And when you're so frothy at the start you you cannot conceive of how you anyone could possibly ever want to quit because it's just so much fun. But, um, the injuries haven't stacked up yet, that's it. And it's usually within that early period. And it leads me to the harsh truth which we've talked about. It, but almost no gym owner or anyone else wants to talk about is you will get injured, you will. This is jujitsu, you will, this is jujitsu. We know that it is a tough contact, sport and art, but essentially it is not a sales pitch.

Speaker 1: 2:12

And even though we glorify it, when you cop that injury which stops you from living your life, it makes you question your motivation for jujitsu. So this idea of people quitting, it's like I know for myself when I when I caught my first serious knee injury, it did stop me in my tracks because I was a personal trainer and I'm like I can't walk downstairs, I can barely put my fucking shoes on. How can I live my life? Is this worth it. Yeah, you must have had a moment like that. Oh yeah, yeah, just yeah. And I mean I fucking still have that moment somewhat regularly Time to time. Yeah, something stupid happens, like you fucking jam, your finger gets jammed or something, and you're like, ah, fuck. And you're like man jujitsu, god damn it. Yeah, and I think the longer we stay in it we accept it more. But I think it's when people cop that first serious injury, it's a bit of a wake-up call. Yeah, that one is enough to really rattle some people to never come back. But yes, I do find once you get through that first one, it kind of recalibrates your perception of yourself and understanding of the whole thing and I think it hopefully generally puts you in a better position moving forward. Yeah, provided you're able to overcome it, that's right.

Speaker 1: 3:25

And so here's the deal. This is the hardest thing, especially when you got the froth and maybe it starts to wear off. It takes easily. This is a hard truth. If you've been training jiu-jitsu less than like two, three years, you suck Like you're not good in comparison to people who've done it longer than you. Right, and it is so hard to tell because you start you're just training with people your own level, and then maybe you go to a different gym and then you're like they just throw you in with everyone. You're like, oh, I'm used to just rolling white belts. They're like, no, we train everyone together here and you just get destroyed and that's the thing.

Speaker 1: 4:00

There's very few things I believe in life where you put in two years of showing up three, four, five times a week and you're not good at it. In two years, you know, like within the scope of what jujitsu is and so to, and I and I this kind of leads into a different point relevant to like why blue belts quit. You commit so much time, maybe it's three years, maybe it's four years. You get that blue belt and then you still have this sense that you're not Good. Yeah, and it's so tough because jujitsu is so big.

Speaker 1: 4:32

It's true, and I mean, you know good is such a relative term, isn't it? You know it's like super subjective, but but yeah, need to be prepared that the first couple of years you're probably going to suck. Yeah, and it's difficult because we we mainly compare ourselves to the higher belts, because that's where we want to go, but they've got so much lead time on you and maybe you follow like a, like a josh saunders or something, who's like got my black belt in three years and you're like, fuck, I should be on track for that, I think, I think I'm going good. And then you just get pummeled again and that that's the hardest thing. These metrics of like, if I get there faster, I must be better. That's not necessarily true at all. Yeah, that's right. That's a myth.

Speaker 1: 5:11

Stripes don't matter, that's right. I fucking said it. You're worried about your next stripe. Trust me, daddy, when you get to the next belt, and the belt after it just disappears. It only matters at that time, because that's your measure of am I improving? Because the hardest thing about jujitsu is you don't know if you're improving. It's like oh, I got the stripe from coach, I must be improving. No, no, there's people out there not getting any stripes, hardly getting belts, and they will fucking destroy you.

Speaker 1: 5:41

The stripe is a bit of an illusion. I'm not going to say it's like a scam, but it's the encouragement award to keep you on track, which is a useful tool. But you shouldn't get fucking deluded by that. Don't get caught up on it either. Don't imagine Like, oh, but I'm three stripes and he's only one stripe, I should smash him's like no, it's not like that. Yeah, it really.

Speaker 1: 6:07

It is a marketing tool of sorts, or retention tool to keep you on track, which is valid, but don't think that stripes correlate with skills. They don't. Yeah, it's a. It's a. It's a bit of a, a bit of a sales thing. Now here's something which I maybe some people are not going to like, joe, but it is a bit of a sales thing. Now here's something which maybe some people are not going to like, joe, but it is a harsh truth. Well, the stripe givers are going to be up in arms about your last point. Yeah, I mean fuck them. No, I mean respectfully. Suck it, dx. Suck it.

Speaker 1: 6:36

More isn't better, more training isn't better. Some people respond to greater volume of training and some people actually really respond to a bit less. Now, invariably, there's always someone in the gym who trains more than anyone else. They're the mat rat. They usually smell a bit dank because their geese still wet from lunch session. They're always training. You always see them on the mat and generally, because they've got crazy level volume, they're doing better than most, even though they may be riddled with injuries or they may have no income or they may just sleep on someone's couch or whatever. Their life might not be great, but they're good at jiu-jitsu.

Speaker 1: 7:16

People assume more jiu-jitsu training equals better jiu-jitsu. This is not true Like. I know some very elite jujitsu guys who only train once a day and actually they only train four, sometimes five days a week. Yeah, I've been testing, I've been just training once a month and I feel like I'm getting heaps better. Elite, yeah, elite, I'm going to challenge Souders with my methods soon. No, that's that's what you got. To train every week, don't do what I do. But that's right. Training more.

Speaker 1: 7:49

There's an absolute upper limit of that where it just starts to fuck you up because you're not getting enough sleep, you're not applying yourself properly in classes, you're not fucking spending time with your family or doing your job properly. Whatever else is going on, your life gets um sacrificed. So taking a minimalist approach is I can't imagine anyone that it's not the best, best way to go about it. Yes, maybe, if you're fucking 17 and you got nothing going on, great, go there every day. But pretty much everyone else has got shit going on.

Speaker 1: 8:18

I think also it's not a problem to build up over time, like just do three days a week and then do that for a couple of months and then go, oh, I might add a fourth day, yeah, and then do that too and then gradually just build up over time. The problem is most coaches will say, just train more, because that's the only lever they've got to pull. But also, that's their fucking business model. You know, it's a bit of a sad irony that obviously coaches want you on the mat because it's good for their gym, it's good for their business. They think it's good for you. But it also might burn you out, yeah, and then they lose you as a customer and then your journey may be over.

Speaker 1: 8:52

Uh, look, gym culture will make or break your jiu-jitsu. If you go to a gym, and even though they might have many champions or whatever, it doesn't mean anything if it's a very brutal, toxic culture where you just get put through the meat grinder and then step up or fuck off, like that. For me, having wheeled myself into a very tough environment, it suited me because I wanted that smoke. For most jiu-jitsu folks, I think that's a recipe for disaster. You go oh, but they've got all the best people, yeah, but they don't actually really care about your long-term success. I believe that is a huge red flag. And if you buy into the oh, but they've got really good champions, that's fuckery Good. Gym culture looks like them giving a fuck about you as an individual. No matter where you're coming into it, whether you've already got a blue belt or you've never done jujitsu, they actually care more about you as an individual than how good are you at jujitsu.

Speaker 1: 10:00

You know what I love when someone shares a secret with me and that secret is helpful, and the secret that I'm going to share with you today is the new flavor from Sodi. I'm talking about mandarin. I didn't think there was fresher flavors, but I'm telling you that mandarin it hit different. Not only does it give me sodium, potassium, magnesium to keep my muscles pumping, it gives me the chef's kiss of freshness. I cannot recommend it enough. Now, if you want to get yourself some new flavors they also have Kiwi you need to go to sodicomau and use the code bulletproof15 to get 15% off. Get fresh and get that flavor. Yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, those things are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but they often are.

Speaker 1: 10:51

Yeah, in that if a gym is really focused on building great competitors, they're probably not as focused on fostering beginners and keeping jujitsu open to all different types that want to come in and do the thing. It's like, no, no, no, we're, we're interested in building killers and so, yeah, find a place that matches whatever it is that you're after. And we know this after many years that most people aren't in jujitsu to roll to the death at every session and want to make it their fucking be all and end all. It's just something, an awesome thing that is part of your life, and so, in that way, find a gym that sort of delivers it to that degree. Yeah, this kind of goes off the back of that, which is it's hard to hear.

Speaker 1: 11:33

If you don't, if you're doing jujitsu right now and you don't have a gym buddy, you're going to time out, you're not going to make it. If you're going to jujitsu and you're just like, oh, it's fine, it's fine Like I'm not mates with everyone there, but it's fine. No, you need a gym buddy. You need someone who you can talk to whether they're like senior to you or junior to you or whatever it is in your gym who you can relate to somehow personally to negotiate this really fucking harsh, bumpy road which is jujitsu. You don't have a gym buddy in. You're fucking done Like you will not last in jujitsu.

Speaker 1: 12:05

This is what I have found, because I have seen very capable people with huge potential but because they weren't able to connect with people in the gym, they invariably stopped coming. Because you need something more than the skills. You're sort of outside of the social fabric of the place. It's tough, especially if you go into an established gym which is a bit clicky. Yeah, you feel it. You're like they started together, or those are all the tough guys, or that's the girls group, or like where do I fit in here? So Gym Buddy kind of helps you to navigate, that it gives you another person that can keep you accountable.

Speaker 1: 12:40

And actually I think great gyms usually find a way to oh, you should go in with so-and-so, yeah. Oh, find a way to oh, you should go in with so-and-so, yeah, yeah, didn't you say that you? You know you fucking love video games. This guy's fucking all about the crypto, right, fucking this guy. He's got a really good deal for you. You should, uh, follow him on instagram. I should go start a meme coin together. The blockchain, am I right? Um, what number are we up to? We are right near the end. Holy shit, we're so close, we've got, so got three to go.

Speaker 1: 13:05

So many harsh truths. It's tough, right. Ten harsh truths. It smacks you in the face, it punches you in the guts, but you need to hear it so that you will stay in the game. Uncle Joey and JT are the only ones that are going to tell you the real deal. Give it to your fucking role.

Speaker 1: 13:30

People are like I thought you guys were advocating yeah, we are going to all the other episodes. Trust, stay with me, you will never master jujitsu. You won't. And how do I know this? Because I've spoken to people who I thought had mastered the game, like people, four-time champions, five times, ten times world champions. You talk to them and they're like nah, man, it's too, it's too big. Yeah, but this is actually a good thing.

Speaker 1: 13:45

Don't look at this the wrong way. Some people are like, oh, but if it's impossible to ever get on top of it, no, you're going to get insanely good at jiu-jitsu. You put the time in and you work at it. But the great thing is, it's what's referred to as like an infinite game. You never quite get there. Even though you might be so good at an armbar, someone might show you a small detail which you never knew before, but now your armbar is better. It shouldn't be an inherently negative thing that you, you know, you're not quite.

Speaker 1: 14:18

I think people really feel the need to control something or feel like I own this or this is mine, and jujitsu is just so freaking infinite. You will never master it, so don't get hung up on that. Yeah, yeah, cause it can be very disappointing when you cause you do think in the beginning that you will get to a point of mastery. Yeah, and then at a point you do realize, wow, that that mastery never comes. But sometimes that feeling like especially when you've, like, got a little bit of experience and like you've got a bit of a game and it's going okay, you're like, yeah, yeah, I think I'm across it all. This is my game, yeah, I'm on this. It can hit you like a ton of bricks when you realize I'm not across it at all.

Speaker 1: 14:49

Yeah, I remember like the first time in Sao Paulo, watching like them demonstrate certain techniques. I was like, whoa, there's like 10 steps to this. I thought there was one. Like I've been doing this for three or four years, I didn't know it was done like that. Like you, you may relate to this where you're like how come no one showed me this before? Like how come I didn't know this before? I've been doing this wrong for four and a half five years, fuck.

Speaker 1: 15:15

But the great thing is you know better now and this is the cool journey of staying in it. But uh, look, it doesn't get easier. You just get better, like it's hard. It doesn't matter if you're a, you know five. Get better Like it's hard. It doesn't matter if you're a, you know five weeks in and you're a white belt, or you're 10 years in and you're a black belt. It is hard. Jiu Jitsu doesn't get easier.

Speaker 1: 15:35

At every level there will be new challenge, technically, physically, personally, all this shit. But that is the value in it. You are getting better. You are rising to the challenge. The value in it you are getting better. You are rising to the challenge. This challenge, like don't let it beat you down, but it's fucking real. You get to that next level and then it's just well. It just gets more difficult in different ways. But that is the beauty, is the increasing challenge. You never are similar to the mastery. You never arrive. This is similar.

Speaker 1: 16:06

I was talking to a friend of mine who's like borderline contortionist and I said to her like how's it feel when you like can do a backbend and put your head on your heels and stuff. She's like fucking hurts. Like when you hit that end range, it doesn't matter if you're really flexible, it's still. It's not like, oh, it's comfortable, yeah, like when you hit the top end of whatever your capacity is, it fucking hurts. So you just embrace that this is in the name of improving and fuck that's what it is. Right, so harsh, but true, uh, jujitsu ain't getting easier. Last but not least, don't hate me folks. Well, hate me now if you will.

Speaker 1: 16:43

Black belts don't matter. The black belt totally doesn't matter, unless it's mine. Well, even then it doesn't fucking matter. Um, don't matter to me, son. No, because it is just the, you know, without getting too Buddhist or philosophical in it. Like you know, death is the next step. The black belt is just a step amongst many steps and the problem is it's also.

Speaker 1: 17:04

The marketing of jiu-jitsu is like oh the black belt, oh the master, all the things. And you know, once you get it, it not that it's meaningless, but it doesn't. It does. It's not the epitome of jiu-jitsu. It doesn't mean what you thought it was gonna mean. No, it means something very different, but I mean it's. It's obviously still of immense value.

Speaker 1: 17:24

But yeah, you thought that it would mean you'd mastered the shit and you're like, oh gosh, oh, you think I'm an expert now? Yeah, no, none of that, no, and that is confronting when you've spent so many years working towards this thing. Yeah, and the reason why I wanted to talk no one tells you that. That's why we're fucking telling you. We're fucking fucking telling you. You weren't fucking telling you and it's not a point of discouragement.

Speaker 1: 17:51

All these points ultimately mean that you stay in jujitsu. You are going to be a better, tougher, smarter person, but you do have to overcome all this fucking challenge and as soon as you can accept that these things are the case and keep moving forward, then you are on the path, my friends, and you will get there. If these things knock you off the path because no one told you, or it's a shock to your system, I think that's sad, because I want to see everybody stay on the path. That's right. Your potential is limitless. It is If you choose to accept the lessons herein. It is If you choose to accept the lessons herein, yes, sir. So there it is, the truth of all truths, and so we do not say this in a form of discouragement. We say seek the discomfort, stay on the path. You will get there, we believe. Thank you,