Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast
Discussions on improving your BJJ, navigating mat-politics and all aspects of the jiu jitsu lifestyle. Multiple weekly episodes for grapplers of any level. Hosted by JT and Joey - Australian jiu jitsu black belts, strength coaches, and creators of Bulletproof For BJJ App. Based out of Sydney, Australia
Bulletproof For BJJ Podcast
Community On The Mats: How Jiu Jitsu Rebuilds Human Connection
What makes Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu so much more than a martial art? Beyond the techniques and competition lies something far more valuable - the power of genuine human connection in an increasingly disconnected world. Jiu jitsu can expedite the process of making close friends and building community. Maybe its because you put in long hours together, or maybe its because your as close as physically possible to one another. Nonetheless, we dive into it here...
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A good martial artist does not become tense but ready. Essentially, at this point the fight is over, so you pretty much flow with the goal. Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power?
Speaker 2:I'm ready.
Speaker 1:The power of community in BJJ and the question is are you being a good member of the community and how does it work together for you to have a better life? Deep questions, joe, but I've been considering more and more that the biggest value in jujitsu and being part of a jujitsu academy is the community. Now, I'm not talking about the culture worldwide. I'm talking about you, your friends, saturday open mats, ufc barbecues. I'm talking about getting the gang together and how important that is for people and how we kind of lacking it in day-to-day life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to go on that world fucking political challenge right now and just say that I think, I think for us in in the west, we have a big fucking problem in society. Um, in specific regards to being contributing members of the community yes and I think that this is this is the.
Speaker 2:This is the outcome of a modern world. This is the outcome of a world where you have everything at your fingertips and you fucking work probably a bit too much and you're distracted by your phone and shit, and so you don't fucking say hi to people and you don't. You just don't get involved in shit, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm not gonna fucking talk to that cunt yeah, like I, I actually and and so I think that for a lot of people and and I think most people we're all guilty of this sure right you, you know that awkward thing where you're in line to renew your license, or you're in line, you're at the DMV, you're at the DMV, right.
Speaker 2:You're at the local Walmart, right, sure, and you're fucking, you know, or you're somewhere and you're in line, or an elevator, and you notice that there's. The elevator is a bit of exceptional, though, because it's very short, it's quick, right, and it's confined, but you're somewhere and you're standing next to someone and you're, like. You have that thought of, like I should strike up a conversation with this yeah, like that would be, that that's what people in the movies would do or that's what people in ireland would do. How are you? How are you doing?
Speaker 1:hey, what's the crack?
Speaker 2:have I seen you before?
Speaker 2:what's your name, you're my father turns out he wasn't what a fight, but you know, but you're like I should have a conversation with this person. Yeah, and I have that all the time and often I my, my physical challenge is, do it, and I fucking do it, and you know, but but sometimes I don't and I'm like I was a shit cunt. I just ignored that person. We both clocked each other and ignored each other. But let me finish this point, you know, before you kind of offer up, but jujitsu offers all of us a respite from that, because you do talk to people, you train together. It is a natural icebreaker when you exchange in jujitsu and then afterwards you're having conversations with people, and I think that this is what we, this is what our body detects is like oh, this place is really special because now you're, just now, you can act like a normal fucking human versus this automaton that you tend to act like when you're out in public.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, and I think that you know they talk about. It's often I don't know if any of you out there, if you're part of a corporate environment and they do icebreaker games, everybody's going to go around the circle, introduce themselves and say something unique about themselves that maybe you didn't know how about the icebreaker game is. I force my testicles in your face and you try not to tap.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:That's real shit. That's like, oh my God, I know this guy quite familiar. Oh God, I have an imprint of his fucking sack in my face. But that's the thing that jujitsu clears all of the pretense and all of the nonsense, cause you're, in a way it's kind of ridiculous, but like you know, like whether you do gi or you don't, like no gi, you know you're either in pajamas or you're in Lycra and you're rolling around on the ground. The whole thing is so contrived. But what is amazing about it is its ability to make you uncomfortable individually and collectively. But what's so cool about it is you either overcome it, you don't, whatever you battle this physical, mental problem, but the camaraderie built from the collective struggle, whether some people better or not, is immaculate. And the level of dopamine, serotonin, fucking endorphins, everything that comes post-jiu-jitsu. It's like, fuck, you know the world's better, right, like we're all here, we're all part of this thing. That's pretty good, right, and it's encouraging to feel like you're a part of something.
Speaker 1:And I think the biggest challenge, like you're saying, with this in the West, is this isolation. And I actually heard someone say the other day that convenience comes at the cost of isolation. Connection comes at the cost of inconvenience. That's a great way to put it and I was like oh dang, I think I like convenience too much. That's why I'm so fucking isolated. I want shit to be convenient. So we all do. We're all obsessed with ourselves.
Speaker 2:We are what do I? You know, I gotta, I gotta get, I gotta get this done. Then I gotta get right, yeah, yeah. And then you experience a culture where people, you know, like a great example of this is, um, you go to fucking, you go on a holiday to fiji, or you know, you just go to a different culture, right, and all of a sudden it's okay in that culture for people just to rock up at someone else's house and you're like wait, what you didn't fucking book a time. You just show up and they're gonna, you're like, sit you down and you can have tea, yeah, and you're like I can't do that. Like you know, we can't, we gotta let them know like what is this? But but you know, it's this, it's a thing, right, like our culture is all built on. So you would never burden somebody with that.
Speaker 2:Sure, I would never show up to your house on a saturday morning unannounced yeah because that's a burden on jt, yeah, where it's like we'll actually know that, that like if we allowed ourselves to do more of that, we might actually experience a really nice part of life. But so I feel like there's a gap. We sort of have this hole like in our whatever, in our fucking, in our being Collective conscious, yeah, and then when you get that thing at jiu-jitsu, it's like that jigsaw piece has filled the hole, you know, and you're like, oh, I feel so good, how good's Jits.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty amazing. The reason why I say this is that so much of what achievement is is about creating separation between you and another person. The competitive side of what life is is kind of zero sum, in the sense that it cuts you off from others. But what I've come to understand is I've always had more in common with the people I've competed with. Even though I may have loathed them or despised them for various reasons, whether it just be trying to beat them, we actually had way more in common than anyone else. And now I'm actually incredibly close with those people because we share the bond of going through that process.
Speaker 1:And even if you're not someone who's competitive, the interesting thing or maybe it's a bit of a, it's not a paradigm but you go to jujitsu, you are competing with others to better yourself, but ultimately there is no improvement without the other. So there is this link, this bond, this respect, and really respect is built on trust and it's rare that you have a group of people who you trust like intimately enough that when they go to break your arm, they don't break your arm. You don't often just let someone try and break your arm right, it's usually only you only clown around with your mates or your family or you know, I don't know. You know whoever's closest to you, right, but the funny thing about jujitsu is you put this trust in someone who's actually you, maybe quite a stranger to you.
Speaker 1:You actually don't know them outside of that context but but in that context you guys are tight, yeah, you know, and that community feel is it's really fucking powerful and I think this is why jujitsu is blowing up so much and succeeding so much, not so much at the top, top sport level, but at the grassroots community level. It, it's, it's, it's absolutely dominating in terms of parents, kids, a place to belong. It is the new community, um, outside of your family.
Speaker 2:Yep, I'd agree and I think that I think in that way right, Like, like cause it, cause the jujitsu is marketed as, like you know, the self-defense side of it and, um, you know, whatever, maybe confidence and that kind of thing, and it is, it does tick all those boxes. But I think it's more so this, this other kind of more, um, uh, like intangible kind of thing, right, that, that that you feel when you train it, or for a parent seeing kids do it, they're like, ah, fucking love that my kid does it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know and and and that's. I think that's kind of why it's blown up in the West, because we're all fucking starved of this thing. Yeah, we get in the connection that we're missing. Yeah, you know. Whereas if you go to I don't know if you, you know you go to another culture where martial arts are traditionally huge, like Japan or something. Yeah, jiu-jitsu is huge, but so is every other martial art, and it's not particularly unique in what it's bringing to the culture, because those things exist there, that's true.
Speaker 1:But it's interesting. So I was actually talking to Paul about soccer. He's coaching his kids' team and he was saying that the parents dropped the kids off and they're like, see ya, I'm going shopping, whatever it's your problem now? It's like, hang on a second, don't you care about this? Because obviously Paul cares a lot. He cares about his sons and he's in there and he's so passionate to share this thing that he loves too right, but he's aware that there's these other parents and they're not giving a shit. They're really it's like childcare.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like it's like cheap childcare. I just bought them two hours to go do whatever, and fair enough, do that if you will. But what I think is cool about jujitsu is when I speak to jujitsu dads and moms, they started and this is something we've talked about before they were, they weren't sure if they would do it, but their kid got into it and they're like fuck, it looks kind of fun, you know. And then they kind of hang out and they chat. The instructor's cool. Yeah, I chat to that guy. He's a cool dad or she's a cool mom and like, yeah, maybe I'll do it.
Speaker 1:You know, like our friend shout out to Samoan Strongman you know, and then it is this thing that you are sharing this growth, this community, this human experience with your kids. It's not just dropping your kids off at Little League or soccer or something. It's like, nah, we all do it together. And so then when there's an open mat, I just take my kids, I get to roll, they roll as long as they don't kill anyone. I don't kill anyone. Everyone had a good time. You know, I think it is so good that if a gym does it right, they can help the kids grow into cool, like young humans, and then it can help adults be, you know, better humans too, cause they feel part of something. It's not just I'm doing something for myself Like you feel, like they feel part of something. It's not just I'm doing something for myself. You feel like you're part of something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
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Speaker 2:Of course you still get those parents that drop their kids off right and fucking.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna use this time for myself week I mean, yeah, do what you do, yeah, but you know, and that's that's kind of another one of those symptoms of our fucking modern existence, which is that, like whatever, like we're so fucking important that what I need is like no, I need to go do my shit when I don't have my kid right, whereas like no, maybe if you watch a kid train soccer for 90 minutes, that would actually be awesome. That'd be good for you, for your kid's experience of life.
Speaker 2:And that would be great in the family. And you know like, yeah, and that would be great in the family. And you know like, yeah, all that shit, right, yeah, it's um, yeah, it's a, it's a. We've sold a bit of a lie in that regard, but I really do think, yeah, jujitsu has a special, special means of getting people, like circumventing a lot of the shit and getting people into that because of the intimacy and the intensity of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I say the intimacy in a very like sort of um like in an absolutely non-romantic way, like just but you've got your someone's fucking head in your face yeah, like your neck, like it's so up, close and personal, right like it's physical the physical touch.
Speaker 2:I've told the story before, I'm sure, but that one that pedro sauer mentioned. When I went to one of his seminars, which was you know he was, he was involved in that expansion of jujitsu intoitsu into Abu Dhabi, right Right in those early days, and part of it I think. He said he trained and I'm probably going to butcher this in some degree, but he trained the children of the sheik or someone of importance.
Speaker 1:Royalty, yeah, yeah important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And um, the child sounded from like what he said.
Speaker 2:Um was uh like socially a bit challenged, right, yeah, probably on the spectrum somewhere, sure, and um, and had never really connected much with the father and the father had kind of mentioned this like never looks me in the eyes, never talks to me, and that's kind of you know what it is.
Speaker 2:And then, and Pedro trained this kid in jujitsu for like some months and then he said, after like three months of jujitsu, there was, uh, they were having dinner at some point and the father said saying and the kid looked the father in the eyes and responded and the father was like fucking shocked, he's never looked me in the eyes and never addressed me directly. And it was like it was the jujitsu that that made him like that, that allowed him to you know, become you know, and and he and and for Pedro he was like holy shit, like this is, I was just, I was just playing with the kid and teaching jujitsu and having fun to and having fun. And that was the outcome. Was this fundamental change in that that child and that father's relationship and potentially that kid's experience of life, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, that's so, that's so massive and and especially, I think, for the best part, if you're, you know, if you're, if you're uh, regardless of how you're brought up, you with your kids, you would want to feel like they know, you care about them and you have a degree of connection, you know, like. I think that's, that's powerful and something that part of the reason why I want to have this chat is. This is one of the biggest takeaways I got from this book called Legacy. I think it's called the 12 lessons we can learn from the all blacks. It's an older book but it's so good, right. And one of them, which is towards the end, it's either like number 10 or number 11, it talks about being a good ancestor. They have this really big thing in the culture of the All Blacks which is like you're wearing this jersey, this was worn by this guy and this guy and are you going to be the best person to ever wear number 10?, or like you've got to think about yourself in the context of this team and you've got to think about those who will come after you. And so another thing they have is this rope, and in the rope is red thread, silver thread and it's all intertwined and it's talking a bit about, like, the culture of New Zealand, as well as football and stuff. And they say are you being a good ancestor In 10 to 20 years time from now?
Speaker 1:If someone's to look back on your actions Like, how are you behaving? Were you behaving selfishly or were you behaving with the thought that you will pass this on to someone else or you will leave this place better off? Since you were being here, and it really stuck with me because I was like, fuck, sometimes I'm doing selfish shit, we all do it right. You do something you maybe you're not 100% proud of. You do a bit of a shit job or something because you think, oh, I don't have time, I'm doing selfish shit, we all do it right. You do something maybe you're not 100% proud of, or you do a bit of a shit job or something because you think, oh, I don't have time, I'm a bit tired.
Speaker 1:The great thing about jujitsu and being in the community is that you are passing on your skills. Someone taught something to you, so they are handing it down the line to you. It doesn't matter if they're older or younger than you, they're just higher up the chain. They pass it to you, you use it and then you be a good ancestor and you pass it on to someone else. Now people always joke around about the generational trauma of jujitsu, where, oh, my coach bashed me, I bash you and then we're all fucking tough, yeah.
Speaker 1:But also the things that people actually remember is the moments of kindness. As much as you can hardwire the trauma about fucking just getting crushed like, yeah, that's not hard to remember. But actually the things that stand out to me is when someone much better than me, stronger than me, more skilled than me took mercy on me, let me work and, even in a very generous way, just said hey, man, maybe you want to try this, and that helped me get better. And that indication of generosity and sharing that told me like, oh fuck, that's possible. So that made me think, oh, maybe I could do that too. I could be a good jujitsu ancestor. And it's this idea of community in jujitsu. It gives you opportunity to be like this. We don't always get that same chance to to share with someone we don't know. You know, yeah, it's so true man, it's so true I've.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 2:I remember I read like, or I listened or listen to the audiobook some time ago, but so fucking cool, right, like some of the things they do as a way to maintain a culture, um, and like a stand, like a, like a, like a code of ethics, almost.
Speaker 2:Um, I really like that how you know you're part of this lineage, right, and how does that reflect on your ancestors, past and and and future? Yeah, look, I think it's easy in jujitsu to get caught up in. You know, just wanting to make your jujitsu the best that it can be, and if you are an elite athlete in it, that is that should be your priority, right, if you are, you know the guys that we watch on who's number one or cj, I like, go and do that, um. But for the majority of us the vast majority of us you probably have a more important place in the community of your gym than you really know and you really matter to that place and you matter to the people that train your training partners, and it's important to sort of be aware of that right, to respect that role.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, and by just thinking about it a little bit, it can make you think that, like some nights, even though you may not have the wins you want or the roles you want you know, maybe you didn't get what you came for, kind of thing but you being there and maybe it's just a few words of advice you give to someone else, or just you sitting there and sharing with someone, that is what makes that place better for you. Being there and doing something good for someone else is actually proven to be good for you. Like it's funny. It's funny to think that being charitable or being helpful to someone else is selfish.
Speaker 1:But the things that are best for you is when you do actually do something which is a bit inconvenient, or you go out on a limb and you help someone out, and that might be the thing that keeps them in the game and that keeps a training partner. You might otherwise lose if you didn't have that exchange there. It is, folks, the power of community. We need you Stay in the game.
