Why Is BJJ So Hard?

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Chapters

• 0:00 Why BJJ Feels So Hard
• 0:44 The Powerlifter Timeline Debate
• 2:08 Language Learning Analogy
• 4:20 Fluency Gap In Live Rolling
• 6:00 Levels To The Game And Persistence
• 12:09 Keep Showing Up

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Why is learning BJJ so freaking hard? Now, many people ask this question because the common refrain is, how long does it take to get good at BJJ? People who don't do it are like, well, yeah, if I gave it six months, would I be good? The answer is probably not. But why is that? There's some of us out there who have been training two or three years still feeling like we suck. And so I wanted to talk a little bit more why our expectations and the complexity of BJJ can make us feel like really unmotivated and just be like, man, I'll I'll never get good at this. And it's not true, you will, but your ability to stick at it's important. So I've I've got a bit of a bit of a frame for us to be able to unpack this. Oh. Oh, so I I had someone say to me the other day, they always wanted to train BJJ. They're like, oh man, they're a power lifter. Right. Huge unit, really strong guy, and played footy, and this guy is a I'd be worried if this guy got any BJJ skill. He's always coming up and trying to wrestle me. Like he always like I go to shake his hand and he tries to like grab my wrist and shit. I'm like, bro, don't play around. Like, I don't, I don't play wrestle in a powerlifting gym. There's so many objects where we could injure ourselves. There's a hard floor, there's steel bars everywhere. Like, I was like, if we want to go to a mat, man, I'll I'll choke you unconscious for free, no problem. But he's always, he always comes up and kind of, you know, he loves the USC. Yeah. He's like, man, I really want to do BJJ. How long would it take me to get good? I was like, bro, you just years. He's like, nah, no, no, I'm strong, I'm fit, I could, you know, and I'm like, I kind of in my mind, I'm like, fuck, he's played football for like, I don't know, five, six years. He's strong as fuck. It probably would only take him about 12 months to destroy people. Yeah, but I and I it's not that I don't want to encourage him to do it, but I said, man, it would take you at least a year to really start to feel like really confident. And he was like, bullshit. And I and I tried to break it down for him and he just wasn't hearing it yet. And I was like, well, go start and then we'll fucking talk about it, right? And so I think the thing is, if you for most people who've never trained BJJ, they don't understand how complex it is. And so the analogy I wanted to bring today, uh, which is we kind of touched on it before, is the idea of learning a language. Because like when you first start learning a language, you're just learning kind of words and it's pretty hard to put it together. Have you spent a little bit of time learning a language before, Joe? I have.

SPEAKER_00: 2:33

Yeah, did studied some uh Spanish, some Portuguese. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 2:37

And look, I I did a little bit of uh Portuguese learning myself. No formal classes, but a bit of Google Translate, writing out. Uh, our friend Adam Childs actually gave me a couple lessons in Brazil. Nice try and help me out. He is fluenche. He is fluenche. I did um I did have a Brazilian girlfriend for a period of time, and so I she was helping me, she was assisting me because she was like a like a down a down syndrome child.

SPEAKER_00: 3:02

Just wait, your Brazilian girlfriend was a down syndrome child?

SPEAKER_01: 3:05

No, no, sorry, but she was treating me.

SPEAKER_00: 3:10

She the way she spoke to me was like she was speaking to a down syndrome child. Short story. When I when I went to Brazil to spend time with my my girlfriend at the time who was from Sao Paulo, yeah, she was always reluctant to teach me Portuguese. I I I I was naturally inquisitive because I liked, you know, found it fascinating. Yeah, I'm sure that you did too. And I would always ask and I'd try to, and she never really wanted to tell me much or talk to me in it. And I'd try and get things going and it would just get shut down. And then one day she said to me, She's like, I don't want you to learn Portuguese because you're gonna come to Brazil and then you're gonna talk to all the Brazilian girls. Oh detective mechanism.

SPEAKER_01: 3:46

How about that? There you go. It's a retention strategy. Yes, keep them dumb.

SPEAKER_00: 3:50

I'm blaming. It was like a superpower. Anyway, go on.

SPEAKER_01: 3:52

But no, I so I I just I'm I am not I I I learned pretty quickly, but what I found was when I was learning Portuguese, there's a big difference between learning it on the page and and trying to have a conversation. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:06

Like people speak so fast, and I'm sure you learn all the formalities, and then you realize no one talks in that way. It's like two different things.

SPEAKER_01: 4:14

No, you know, and and there's such a difference, and I believe this is true of PJ. Like when you are practicing techniques or situational stuff, when it comes to live training, your partner's not letting you anything, they're not even letting you get grips. You're like close guard armbar doesn't work all of a sudden. Hang on, let me establish the controls I was given before. No, that's not fucking happening. So this is where there's a big disconnect between talking and fluency. Like that's a that's a huge jump. And and when I've spoken to people who've learnt um more than one language, they're like, yeah, it took me, you know. Generally, people spend time saturating themselves. They either live in the country or they're hearing it every day or they're they're listening to tapes, watching video, uh watching TV shows in the language. So there is a immerse yourself. Yeah, there's a subconscious level where it's it's hitting you. But if you're someone who's only practicing once or twice a week, pretty hard to get fluent, right? So if you try to have a conversation, this is my mistake. I tend to, if I find out someone's Brazilian, I tend to try and drop my two or three phrases and they're like, oh man, and they just start hitting me. And I'm like, actually, I can't. I can't, I don't speak Portuguese.

SPEAKER_00: 5:28

I'm so sorry. Um, there's that thing where you have had that conversation probably close to, I don't know, a thousand times with someone, which is like, I speak a little bit of Portuguese. Oh, did you go there? Yeah, I went there for a little while, you know, some years ago. Oh, how'd you like it? Like, you've got this initial intro convo that you've drilled fucking heaps. Oh, yeah. And then as soon as it crosses outside of that, you're like, I got yeah, so it's like, you know, fala portuguese and porco.

SPEAKER_01: 5:57

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SPEAKER_00: 8:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:08

And I think this is why the child, our respective Brazilian girlfriends, we're like, oh idiots. And then, you know, now try and win an argument in that language. Oh my god. You got no chance, you got no chance. So if we can relate this back to people learning BJJ, for us to put the expectation on ourselves that we could one not be somewhat talkative, somewhat talkative, have a have some kind of very beginner-level conversation with someone who's fluent, yeah, they're miles apart. And then be like, all right, now try and win an argument with this person.

SPEAKER_00: 8:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:43

It's you, you, you, that's it's an unrealistic expectation. And I think because we've experienced early success, maybe in doing something else, we think it'll be the same for BJJ. And it's it's a it's a brutal reality check.

SPEAKER_00: 8:57

Yeah, it's true. I mean, you think about it too. Like, I remember, I remember like taking notes and studying tape, like language tapes for Portuguese, and like, you know, whatever. They're like, today we're gonna learn, you know, about um asking for something at the shop. And then it's like, uh, you know, I would like a fucking I would like a pastry, you know, whatever. And so you're like, I would like a pastry, how much is that? The pastry costs, you know, and you're writing it down, you're like, man, I know, I know how to say pastry, I know how to say how much. My vocabulary is like the roof. And you come away from that lesson, you're like, I fucking got this shit dialed in. Yeah, and it's like when your coach is like, hey man, it's your first, like, here's how you do a kamor, and then you go to the next class, like, here's how you do an arm bar, and then it's like, here's the mount position, and you're like, bro, I'm dangerous shit dialed in. You know, Dana White, sign me up. Yeah, and it's just like because you don't you don't know what you don't know. And so you're like, I'm pretty sure I know it all. Yeah, it's like, and it's so, and and so there's a lot of friction in this time that comes where you're starting to grasp potentially maybe some of what you don't know. Yeah, you know, it's gonna take you probably a decade to realize everything you don't know. But it's like, but yeah, so there is, I think despite our best intentions coming into things and trying to be realistic, you almost can't help but fool yourself about how fucking illiterate you are in this thing in the beginning.

SPEAKER_01: 10:18

Yeah, and and look, I I think having a certain amount of like naivete or like naivete, all right. Mark Paulberg Karate. No, you you're you're a bit naive, right? And that's actually good because if you actually knew how hard it was, you'd get totally dispirited and quit. And some folks do, right? But I there's levels to that. Like the reason why I'm saying, you know, we go from just talking to fluency to to arguing, try and argue with Joseph Chen. Like that guy is like a lawyer. You know, that guy is a professional. You're talking about his jujitsu or you're talking about his ability to argue? I'm saying that his jujitsu. His jujitsu. Yeah, okay. So let's not get too too mixed up with the analogy. There is levels to the game. So even if you're really good at arguing, even if you're really good at competing in jujitsu, there is somebody who is so elite, they can just come through and pick your whole game apart like that. And that is even more confronting, I believe. Which, you know, it's funny when you talk to someone who's never done jujitsu and they're like, how long does it take to get good? You're like, bro, I've been doing it more than 15 years, and I still am not that good. You know, it's hard to convey that to somebody who's like, surely you could just get good in like a year, right? And and the complexity and the levels to the game in jujitsu are so deep and broad. I don't say this to discourage anyone. I actually say this to say, you know what, if you're doing jujitsu and you've been doing it six months and you feel like you're getting better and you're just chipping away, keep going. Like that's just just the will to keep showing up and and and and keep going and continue to suck but improve. That actually I believe is one of the biggest qualities in what determines who who is successful. Because like I don't think early success helps someone necessarily in BJJ. Like showing up and just smashing everybody is won't help you in two years' time when it gets more complex, more complex, more complex. Like just being able to not be put off by how hard it is is is probably the most key factor in all of that. Yeah, I'd agree. There it is, folks. Uh, it doesn't matter if you're learning a language or you're doing BJJ, you just gotta keep at it.